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Archive for July, 2010

Long drives

July 21st, 2010 at 12:21 pm

We went to the largest nearest base yesterday, that was a long drive. But we needed to do it. DH had to get his dress blues & we had to update the kids' healthcare insurance.

I had been on Standard in the old region because I hated seeing military docs & that was the only way I could see a civilian doctor. However, while we were there, the benefits advisor told me that since we moved I could be put back on Prime so I didn't have to pay anything for my healthcare.

Fantastic! Out here I have to see a civilian doctor anyway, so might as well have it be for free than worry about co-pays.

But I'll likely have at least one or two co-pays. I got an infection yesterday that I needed to be seen for but the health insurance even with co-pays and deductibles are still much better than most.

I remember standing in Walgreens yesterday as another lady came up to the counter & the pharmacist said $38.02 and she responded "That's it?" with a pleasantly surprised look on her face. Me? I felt amazed and at the same time grateful for my $3 per Rx.

I'm stressed enough trying to think about all these expenses we have...

$500 deductible to fix DH's car
My van had $310 of work done to it, but we need to take it back cause the back brakes are squealing
$400 for DH's dress blues
$250+ for a good radar detector for DH's long drives on the highway everyday. We were looking at the cheaper ones but several had bad reviews because they didn't give enough notice to the driver.

And not "bad" (actually good) but DH wants to do something for my birthday which he said should be around $250. But... he's going to take a more active role in the finances. We did talk about post-poning it though but DD #1's birthday is a week after mine so we have to figure something else then too.

But all in all things are coming together slowly. Tomorrow we should get our stuff finally. No more sleeping on an air mattress & eating on the floor w/paper plates. Once we get our scanner we just need to submit the receipts to the moving company for necessities we purchased & they'll reimburse us for them. We didn't use the entire $500 they said they would reimburse us up to but we're getting by and that is what counts.

Crazy Month

July 17th, 2010 at 09:04 am

We're finally in Nevada & have been for a few days but this move has NOT been going right in the least and that is aside from the personal issues DH & I have had.

Because of the personal problems & a huge fight DH and I had... I didn't take my business test. At that point the fight was so dire that he told me I had to deal with the movers that morning because he wasn't. Long story short, in June... I had emotionally checked out after finding out the additional info. He was gone, I couldn't talk to him about it (or didn't think I could), and some other guy came into my life to distract me from everything. For the first time in 4 years, it was nice to be complimented and not criticized for every movement I did.

When DH came back, I was already starting to fall for this other guy. Then one day (the night before my exam) he confronted me about something that I thought was nothing, he demanded full disclosure and I thought "Hey, WTF? I NEVER got that opportunity or chance." He took off & I left and went to the other guy's house. Meanwhile DH kept sending me berating messages that we were getting a divorce, we were over, etc, etc... so I turned my cell phone off after burying my head in my hands and crying... and spent the night at the other guy's house.

So the next morning, I didn't take my exam. DH and I had a long talk. Then we got a phone call that the truck driver for our move died the night before. So the moving company came anyway and packed our stuff.

We left Virginia on the 3rd, stayed in Missouri for a week. All the while at that point I was considering leaving DH. I'm not the "type" to cheat. DH knows that too. I had put up with so much from him that Charleston really was my breaking point, finding his emails soliciting other people for NSA sex finally made me check out. And once I'm checked out, I'm done.

And once met with the realization of everything, DH crumbled before me. I wasn't expecting that, I was expecting him to be done & finally walk away for good. But he knows he pushed me to where I am/was. Years of anger, criticizing me, and berating me finally took its toll. I know I'm still responsible for what I did, but it does take two to make a marriage fail.

But because of everything, he told me he wants to change, he wants to go to counseling, and he wants us to work on us and make us stronger than we've ever been. And he is trying, more than I've ever seen him try. I've never seen him cry so much & he told me that the pain he felt about losing me was the worst pain he's ever felt in his life.

I still have my own stuff I need to work though... I'm still very bitter & sometimes very angry and resentful. Even now, as he demands to see this or that... I can't help but think "I never got that choice."

In one of our recent conversations, I told him... I just want him to "get it". To get the sacrifices I made for him, not to hear how he's made sacrifices too in order to make me feel like we're in competition. A simple thank you for following him around the U.S., a compliment, a reminder of how/why he loves me would have prevented so much.

So we're working on things. I have been in touch with a counselor and we'll be going TOGETHER once we get settled.

That leads me to the actual move. DH's car hit a tire and needs to be fixed. We have insurance looking at it but we'll probably have to pay out of pocket because it's less than the deductible. My car needed the oil changed, filter changed, tires rotated, new front brakes, and then the rotors got warped from the mountains.

When we moved into our rental, we were surprised to find it didn't come with a fridge. So we bought a clearance fridge from Best Buy for the soonest available date. That was $2200 we weren't expecting.

The Navy also messed up our pay. The admin lady who put in DH's paperwork only had it set up to pay for him even though we were funded for the whole family. So the Master Chief got involved because personnel was telling us we'd have to wait till he checked in the month of August to get reimbursed. Well, that was $6K we were out and fronting on credit cards and wasn't going to work.

So we got that all worked out, got the money and we'll be okay.

But then the movers called and told us we won't get our stuff till the 23rd at the earliest. So we are living in an empty house with nothing but our suitcases & a desktop computer so I can still work.

The good news is the moving company is going to give us up to $500 to reimburse us for necessities that we need till we get our stuff.

So all in all a crazy month. I did reschedule my exam for the first Saturday in August. But yeah, a lot has been going on.