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Crazy Month

July 17th, 2010 at 04:04 pm

We're finally in Nevada & have been for a few days but this move has NOT been going right in the least and that is aside from the personal issues DH & I have had.

Because of the personal problems & a huge fight DH and I had... I didn't take my business test. At that point the fight was so dire that he told me I had to deal with the movers that morning because he wasn't. Long story short, in June... I had emotionally checked out after finding out the additional info. He was gone, I couldn't talk to him about it (or didn't think I could), and some other guy came into my life to distract me from everything. For the first time in 4 years, it was nice to be complimented and not criticized for every movement I did.

When DH came back, I was already starting to fall for this other guy. Then one day (the night before my exam) he confronted me about something that I thought was nothing, he demanded full disclosure and I thought "Hey, WTF? I NEVER got that opportunity or chance." He took off & I left and went to the other guy's house. Meanwhile DH kept sending me berating messages that we were getting a divorce, we were over, etc, etc... so I turned my cell phone off after burying my head in my hands and crying... and spent the night at the other guy's house.

So the next morning, I didn't take my exam. DH and I had a long talk. Then we got a phone call that the truck driver for our move died the night before. So the moving company came anyway and packed our stuff.

We left Virginia on the 3rd, stayed in Missouri for a week. All the while at that point I was considering leaving DH. I'm not the "type" to cheat. DH knows that too. I had put up with so much from him that Charleston really was my breaking point, finding his emails soliciting other people for NSA sex finally made me check out. And once I'm checked out, I'm done.

And once met with the realization of everything, DH crumbled before me. I wasn't expecting that, I was expecting him to be done & finally walk away for good. But he knows he pushed me to where I am/was. Years of anger, criticizing me, and berating me finally took its toll. I know I'm still responsible for what I did, but it does take two to make a marriage fail.

But because of everything, he told me he wants to change, he wants to go to counseling, and he wants us to work on us and make us stronger than we've ever been. And he is trying, more than I've ever seen him try. I've never seen him cry so much & he told me that the pain he felt about losing me was the worst pain he's ever felt in his life.

I still have my own stuff I need to work though... I'm still very bitter & sometimes very angry and resentful. Even now, as he demands to see this or that... I can't help but think "I never got that choice."

In one of our recent conversations, I told him... I just want him to "get it". To get the sacrifices I made for him, not to hear how he's made sacrifices too in order to make me feel like we're in competition. A simple thank you for following him around the U.S., a compliment, a reminder of how/why he loves me would have prevented so much.

So we're working on things. I have been in touch with a counselor and we'll be going TOGETHER once we get settled.

That leads me to the actual move. DH's car hit a tire and needs to be fixed. We have insurance looking at it but we'll probably have to pay out of pocket because it's less than the deductible. My car needed the oil changed, filter changed, tires rotated, new front brakes, and then the rotors got warped from the mountains.

When we moved into our rental, we were surprised to find it didn't come with a fridge. So we bought a clearance fridge from Best Buy for the soonest available date. That was $2200 we weren't expecting.

The Navy also messed up our pay. The admin lady who put in DH's paperwork only had it set up to pay for him even though we were funded for the whole family. So the Master Chief got involved because personnel was telling us we'd have to wait till he checked in the month of August to get reimbursed. Well, that was $6K we were out and fronting on credit cards and wasn't going to work.

So we got that all worked out, got the money and we'll be okay.

But then the movers called and told us we won't get our stuff till the 23rd at the earliest. So we are living in an empty house with nothing but our suitcases & a desktop computer so I can still work.

The good news is the moving company is going to give us up to $500 to reimburse us for necessities that we need till we get our stuff.

So all in all a crazy month. I did reschedule my exam for the first Saturday in August. But yeah, a lot has been going on.

4 Responses to “Crazy Month”

  1. north georgia gal Says:

    Sounds like you have alot on your plate right now. Stay strong! You can make it through this!

  2. NJDebbie Says:

    I really hope you can continue to seek the help you both need to keep your family together and please remember that the best gift you can give your children is seeing Mom and Dad love and respect each other.

  3. Looking Forward Says:

    Glad to hear from you!
    I second the above comments.

  4. frugaltexan75 Says:

    {{{hugs}}} I'm glad your DH is willing now to go to counseling. With both of you willing to work on it, the chances of things working out are even better.

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