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I've decided to bring in reinforcements

September 29th, 2008 at 10:14 am

I can't do this alone.

So for $81/mo, I contacted a Certified Financial Planner.

Going on the date and DH telling me his plans have changed and now he wants to trade is car in for a truck was just the final straw where I said "I give up"

I'm tired of wasting hours and hours on the computer developing a financial plan to get us out of debt and for him to tell me he changed his mind.

I'm just tired.

I feel slightly embarrassed because my degree is in accounting, I'm getting my M.S. in accounting and plan to take the CPA EXAM!

But I'm approaching this like a marriage counselor. If this financial planner can get DH to get the gravity of our situation, then it is $81/mo well spent.

The timing is perfect too. This will help us figure out the best way to spend the $4K as well.

But most of all, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I've become so tired of being the finance person in our marriage that when DH wants to buy something and I say "We can't afford that", I have felt like a failure, I get emotional and eventually give in.

Bringing in a 3rd party to help us with this to help him "get it" and take the pressure off me so I don't feel like I'm all alone in this and give us a plan & follow up with us, is worth it to me.

Not to mention they will also help us with our retirement planning and other goals.

Trust me, I love my husband with all my heart. But I really need him to stick with me on a plan, not say he agrees and then next week, next month say he wants something else that would set our progress back. And if we are paying $81/mo and someone ELSE tells him the gravity of our situation - we're sticking with the plan and getting our money's worth out of it.

Posted in Goal Setting and Negotiation | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “I've decided to bring in reinforcements”

  1. gamecock43 Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am

    I think you did the right thing. I think your husband thinks you are saying "we cant afford that" because you want to buy more makeup. Ridiculous but that is what runs through men's minds. A stranger with no bias telling him something is unaffordable might be better respected.

  2. merch Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:26 am

    I agree that this was a great decision. Sometimes it takes a third party. No failure - just life.

  3. Broken Arrow Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Your decision is understandable. It's one thing to be working with just numbers, but it's another when you also have to wrangle with your spouse as well.

    I think you did the right thing here.

  4. Personal Finance Student Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:44 am

    This sounds like a great idea; perhaps one I should consider since I have a similar issue with my husband. How did you choose your planner? I didn't realize they were so affordable, how often will you meet with them? Sorry for asking questions, it just seems like a great idea!

  5. AmbitiousSaver Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Our planner is with USAA (we're military) and fee-based so they won't try to sell us anything. I have two meetings with them on Wednesday, one with an analyst to go over a financial questionnaire that I had to fill out and that evening a consult with the actual planner. Then a week or so later, he'll give us an actual plan based off of everything we've discussed. We went this route because we check-in with him to follow up on if the plan is working for us and our financial goals. I considered a "Financial Strategies" plan for only $195 TOTAL, but since we have a variety of issues to tackle at once the more comprehensive is more a partnership with the CFP than a one-time deal.

  6. Personal Finance Student Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:49 am

    This sounds like a great idea; perhaps once I should consider since I have a similar issue with my husband. How did you choose your planner? I didn't realize they were so affordable, how often will you meet with them? Sorry for asking questions, it just seems like a great idea!

  7. Personal Finance Student Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Thanks for answering my questions. I'm not sure how I posted them twice; sorry about that and good luck with everything!

  8. mbkonef Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 11:40 am

    That sounds like a great idea! I wish I could find someone around here that I could trust. My DH sounds like yours, he will agree to something and sound quite reasonable but a week or two later its like we never had that particular conversation and I am just nagging him. Somehow when others tell him the same thing I have been saying, suddenly it is great advice. Hope this works for you - keep us updated.

  9. nanda603 Says:
    September 29th, 2008 at 05:01 pm

    I can sympathize with you. My husband is on disability (he is legally blind) so has very little income. When I tell him we can't afford something he wants, he sometimes feels that I am too controlling. I give up much so that he can have things to keep him busy while I work all day. I'll set up a plan, he'll agree to it and then charge something on a credit card. I then have to refigure our budget to find the funds to cover his expenses. He's never been good with money and thinks that since I make good money, we should be able to buy whatever we, well he wants. He doesn't accept that over 50% of my income goes to pay for things we've already bought and if we stuck with my debt plan in 5 years we would be debt free and then could afford more. Ugh!! I love him but sure wish we thought more alike in regards to our finances.

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