I'm still pretty numb about everything. We get on a plane in 10 hours and I'm still nowhere near packed for me or the four kids or DH. We hadn't even started packing 8 hours ago, I felt like all the energy had been drained from me.
We went out to eat while the older kids were at school at a small mom & pop place. It felt comforting to be there. Wasn't the usual Applebees or Chilis type of mainstream place that we usually go to.
No, instead this place reminded me of the type of place my Dad would have taken me to. He always knew the best little unknown mom & pop places in Hawaii away from all the tourists. This place had the same sort of atmosphere about it even though it was on the east coast.
I was a wreck as we dropped the dog off at the boarder's too. Nervous about how many times they'd take him out and what not. I had filled out the papers, got nervous and walked back to the parking lot where DH was sitting in the car & told him I was nervous, I didn't know if I could do it.
Finally, a lady from the vet's came out and talked to me. She reassured me Bailey (our dog) would be just fine and that they take great care of them.
So much going through my mind. There is the normal life stuff, having to pack, trying to coordinate flying a party of 6 for 15 hours, and then at the same time trying to cope with all the emotions.
Looked at the finances today. Dh got his bonus so I paid off my AMEX today. And I now have the $1000 baby EF fund Dave Ramsey recommends.
I thought again about my Dad's life insurance policy and unlike my feelings a month ago, today I just wanted to throw the money at the credit card.
But I'm trying to also keep myself level headed and remind myself that I need to process everything and heal first before I do anything with the money.
I feel like I've been worrying over silly stuff. I think about the funeral and the first thought I think is "What am I going to wear?" "What will the kids?" I never cared so much what I wore before, and now suddenly its important.
Dh and I aren't going to buy anything to wear, but we'll have to get something for the kids. They just don't have anything.
Most of all though, the main thing is... I just don't want to be alone right now. When I'm alone it hits me most, so I'm glad DH has leave & we're going home to Hawaii. I hope that time will give me what I need to start the healing process so that somehow I find a new normal in life.
Chaos of Packing for 6 in a Few Hours
October 3rd, 2009 at 12:21 am
October 3rd, 2009 at 12:52 am 1254531127
BTW I dunno how old the kids are but if you don't mind them in jeans no one else should either. (certainly no one should object to a one year old in whatever you own.)
If you want to avoid buying, ask church going friends, they might have something.
October 3rd, 2009 at 01:17 am 1254532672
What if they are just solid black t-shirts from Walmart or Target for the kids? I would not go for the 'suit' expense for little ones that won't have anywhere else to wear them.
You take care and we'll be thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
October 3rd, 2009 at 02:42 am 1254537749
What I can tell you for sure: everything you are feeling and experiencing is normal. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself feel what you feel...whether it seems rational or not.
I will think of you and your family often in the next days. ((Hugs))
October 8th, 2009 at 06:21 pm 1255026091