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Helping Family

December 2nd, 2009 at 01:21 pm

DH talked to his parents yesterday and for those that don't know - he is the 9th of 10 kids. They live on welfare and we try to distance ourselves from the siblings from his mom cause they are just bad news... arrests, poor decisions, and drugs.

There are two kids from his Dad's prior marriage that are really well off.

So anyhow, after the phone call DH was talking about the $140 he should get from this trip and sending it to his parents. He was going to use it on tint for his car as a Christmas present. I guess his parents need the money to fix their cars (but they didn't ask for it, just said that it cost $90 cause their cars broke. They drive paid off junkers.)

I was less than agreeable to the idea. I literally said:

"I'm against it for 2 main reasons. One, if your siblings see your parents with any sort of money - they just take it from them because your parents enable them. And 2), we owe $40K+ in credit card debt - I don't think we are in a position to help your parents" (Especially when we don't have the cash on hand to fix our own house).

DH wasn't thrilled with that idea but that is just how I feel. His parents are constantly giving his siblings money cause they make dumb decisions.

His other well-off siblings send money to his parents, that should be enough. I know its Christmas and all... but when he owes $27K on his credit card and I owe $17K on mine... we just aren't in the position to "help" without it being to our detriment.

But I told him he could forfeit his allowance money if its that important to him.

3 Responses to “Helping Family”

  1. momcents Says:
    1259761722


    I would suggest that if DH wants to help his parents that he send them a gift card for groceries or gas (providing they live near a name brand store or gas station). This would free up money from their finances to fix their cars. This would also free them from any illusion of "money" that the sibs might percieve.

  2. Ima saver Says:
    1259773230

    I certainly do agree with you.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1259775358

    I have a feeling for the ambiguity your DH must feel over this. It could be hard to know what to do even if the other siblings were not always getting the parents' money.

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