So after looking at the layout for this month putting us at $750 in the red I decided to estimate next year's taxes to see how close we are to paying off DH's car so that can free up more of our monthly income.

Factoring in my tuition, the four kids, my student loan interest, the loss on the other house, property taxes on this one, etc, etc, etc... we should get back around $8K.

I had already adjusted DH's withholding in May so I think next year I'll adjust it again because there really is no reason we should be overpaying $8K.

But I feel a little better after seeing that, we owe $9K on his car, each month we pay down about $380 to $400 on it so the $8K tax return should more than pay it off.

So we're on track still... its just tight in the meantime. Yet thats why I have to sit down and assess where we are in the 4 month goal in our 3-4 year plan. As long as we're still on track I can't get too down but it also serves as a reminder that I need to keep working at it so I can reach my goal.

I can't do this alone.

So for $81/mo, I contacted a Certified Financial Planner.

Going on the date and DH telling me his plans have changed and now he wants to trade is car in for a truck was just the final straw where I said "I give up"

I'm tired of wasting hours and hours on the computer developing a financial plan to get us out of debt and for him to tell me he changed his mind.

I'm just tired.

I feel slightly embarrassed because my degree is in accounting, I'm getting my M.S. in accounting and plan to take the CPA EXAM!

But I'm approaching this like a marriage counselor. If this financial planner can get DH to get the gravity of our situation, then it is $81/mo well spent.

The timing is perfect too. This will help us figure out the best way to spend the $4K as well.

But most of all, I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I've become so tired of being the finance person in our marriage that when DH wants to buy something and I say "We can't afford that", I have felt like a failure, I get emotional and eventually give in.

Bringing in a 3rd party to help us with this to help him "get it" and take the pressure off me so I don't feel like I'm all alone in this and give us a plan & follow up with us, is worth it to me.

Not to mention they will also help us with our retirement planning and other goals.

Trust me, I love my husband with all my heart. But I really need him to stick with me on a plan, not say he agrees and then next week, next month say he wants something else that would set our progress back. And if we are paying $81/mo and someone ELSE tells him the gravity of our situation - we're sticking with the plan and getting our money's worth out of it.

I'm realizing that in order to pick out the best financial strategy to undertake - I need to first sit down and think about my goals.

I was thinking SERIOUSLY about selling the houses and not having any rentals.

But that leaves me with a further dilemma.

I'm about to go back to school for my master's degree in accounting. And I'm thinking, do I REALLY want to be a business woman? The idea is nice, but in about 3-6 months, working 50-60 hour work weeks would become a burden to me. I wouldn't want to do it.

Now I still want to get my master's degree because if I NEED to be that business woman, I can and it will meet our needs so that I can support our family on my income alone. But I've decided I'm not going to seek that out. I'm happy at my work-at-home job till whenever the time comes I should leave.

So that leads me back to why I purchased the homes in the first place.

It was because I didn't want to work till I was 50 or 60, because I wouldn't have a pension in retirement... being a landlord would allow me to have an income without having a traditional job.

I'm still considering selling the other house though just because the area is changing & I don't believe in that house as much. ALTHOUGH it is at a good price point.

I don't know, but I need to think about my goals. If we kept both homes I could have them conceivably paid off in 15-20 years. If we don't keep them, that means I have to work for longer (I was planning on having the rental incomes from both homes to allow me to pay off our final home but if we don't have those I have to work to pay off the mortgage).

That and... I know no one likes to work... but I really don't want to. This has also made me rethink getting my master's. BUT my master's will only cost $9K more and although I may never NEED it... I would rather be in the position of having it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

So I still need to think about this. The easy solution in the beginning of this thought process was to immediately sell the other house, but now I'm remembering why I bought it in the first place.... the original plan.

So, still thinking.

Sooo... another night/day and we're still thinking about ways to get us out of this quicker.

I remember the conversation I had with my Dad when I told him my dilemma of my master's degree and going to Hawaii. My Dad told me to get my master's.

DH is thinking about downsizing his car to get a motorcycle and a "beater" car.

Meanwhile, in order to get my master's and keep my Dad from thinking I'm being totally irresponsible - I'm considering, instead of going to Hawaii in April 2009... just push it back to October 2009.

I can still use my awards ticket so we only have to buy 5 tickets, and it is just pushing it back 6 months. I can take the classes I need to for my master's degree... and graduate by Fall '09 so the trip to Hawaii could just be like an early "graduation" trip while also seeing Dad.

Another factor into this was... I realized the semester for Spring ends at the end of April... if we traveled mid-April I might miss my finals or an important part of school during that time (and the classes are only offered once a year). So it seems more responsible to wait.

We can't take the trip during another time either cause we're already taking the kids out of school for DH's family trip. If they miss too much they might get held back.

The part of me that is bitter is thinking... DH gets to see his family and gets a bike. I just get a master's degree which isn't "fun"... its something I need to do. But I need to put that aside and be willing to let that go & try to focus on the big picture isntead of focusing on "Well he gets what he wants" - thats childish. And I know this won't be overnight, but I need to work on putting away that mindset.

I still miss my Dad so much... I think they are supposed to recheck in June to find out if he is in remission. I really hope so.

On an up note though, I did figure out that if we just keep putting money away and tackle one goal at a time.. the CC and two cars should be paid off in 2011.

I'm sure I'll revisit this and find something I don't like.

This is going to be a lonnnggggggg process.

Goal 1 - get out of debt
Goal 2 - DH see his family
Goal 3 - I see my family
Goal 4 & 5 - I get my masters degree and DH gets his motorcycle

Problem is... I've realized we can't be on either extreme. We can't make getting out of debt the ONLY goal that we sacrifice seeing our families. His family is so poor... they are on welfare and can't go anywhere. Really, I hate seeing them - its a moment I'm glad he's in the Navy and I only have to worry about seeing them every other year.

Meanwhile my Dad can't travel here cause he's partially handicapped and recovering from cancer.

So our compromise... which I'm not thrilled about... but its the best we could come up with. I get to keep my "No more CC rule" and we still get to work towards our goals.

With his trip reimbursements from this summer, we'll pay for his trip to see his family in cash. Then in October when he gets his bonus, we'll use that and the savings I've saved in the meantime to purchase the tickets to Hawaii to see my family.

Then between then and April, I should be able to save enough to cover the rest of the Hawaii trip (food, hotel, car rental, gas for the rental car).

That of course leaves the motorcycle and my master's degree up in the air. I'm taking a course this summer and fall... each class is $1K... DH wants to buy a bike for $6K. He thinks we can use our tax return next year to pay for the bike... but I adjusted his withholding... sooooo we'll see how that pans out.

I'm really not focusing on the bike - we reached a compromise to not use the credit cards anymore, adjusted his withholding to have us pay more monthly on the credit card.... pay for the trips to see family in cash... and yeah, I guess if there is enough of a tax return it can go to my degree and his bike.

I don't know.... I don't feel 100% about this but I'm not tempted to bring up "Well the tax return next year may not cover the bike" cause I'm worried if I do... he'll get up in arms about it and fatalistic about it and I'll lose the progress I did make to

1) Agree how to pay more on the CC each month
2) Pay to see our families in cash

Sooo, since I recognize this is a process... I'm going to recognize that progress... stop... get to that goal... and then move forward. One step at a time.

So the goal was always... retire in 2017, DH will have his pension at 38 of around $2500 to $3000/mo. So what was I to have? I don't work at a government job nor does my company even have a 401k plan... so I opened a Roth IRA and we bought a house in the goal that we could use it to pay for the kids' college (or at least help) and then the rental income could supplement my retirement since I lack a pension.

We have two houses now... and I'm seriously not entirely sure what to do with them. I love our current house... there is seriously nothing about it I hate. Our old house is in a good price range for most families in this area, we have good tenants.

I think most of my problem started with reading "Automatic Millionaire" - David Bach kept saying "don't sell your first house" so we didn't.

Right now we are operating on a $6000-$7000/yr loss. Which is good when it comes to tax time... last year our W2s totalled to $77K... but with the rental loss it lowered our AGI to $69K.

So I don't know. This year we should make $115-$125K and I appreciate the rental loss kicking in to reduce our taxable income. But perhaps that isn't the best thinking.

Then the other part of me tries to avoid thinking about it cause it is stressful. Could I really pay off a $223K mortgage and $26K HELOC in 9 years?

Probably... and in that case it would be worth it, I guess. Again, I don't know... still thinking. But needless to say these two houses are the last ones I plan on buying till DH is out of the military.

Dh's idea was when the tenants leave to sell the rental, and then use the proceeds (hopefully if there are proceeds) to pay down the balance on this house and rent it out.... cause even if we leave here there may be a shot we'd have to come back.

Again, I don't know. Feels overwhelming if I try to tackle this huge issue.

Right now the mini-goal is to pay off the CC... then cars... then HELOC... then my student loan.