So I was thinking much of our money issues would be solved by giving DH an allowance. Instead I feel jipped because when he takes these trips & gets extra money - that goes to just him.

He came home today and we got into an argument about it. He told me that he doesn't see why I'm making a big deal out of it because he's going to use the money to pay for the things that he needed that we didn't have money in the budget for.

But what I wanted to do was to put the money in the bank account & then use the checking account to pay for what he needed as he got the money.

What caused the blowup is that I found out he took all the money out in cash. We have an online bank... so how are we supposed to pay for his books that he gets online if we have cash? I don't send cash in the mail.

So now only does he get $50/mo in allowance, he also gets $137 from his trip and next week he'll probably get another $100.

I feel jipped. Especially when my $300 office technology reimbursement money goes directly into the joint checking account and is used to pay bills.

I'm considering scrapping the whole allowance thing. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe I should just start putting that $300 every quarter into my "own" money. That seems to be the cause of the resentment, that I get money but don't even think twice of it becoming part of OUR money to pay down the bills (you know, since we have about $40K in CC debt)

Maybe I am being unreasonable. I don't know, but the whole argument soured his homecoming. I honestly wish he was more hands on with the finances. My whole desire to control the money comes from the stress I get dealing with it & again I asked him to help me but he just told me it'll do no good because I'll do whatever I want anyway. Basically saying its either him or me handling it, there is no middle ground.

So I have no clue. Will probably have to think about this one for awhile cause its hard to be objective about the situation when you're in it.